“Conflicts” are a part of life. In Co-Living, we not only share spaces, but we share valuable time with roommates. When we spend time, there are moments to cherish, there are conflicts too.
You could be living in a flat in Pune. You could be living in a Noida, our could be sharing a room with someone from Jaipur. You could even have another Hitler or Alon Musk as your roommate. You will still bound to have difference of opinions. Conflicts are bound to happen where people meet and share time together.
A great Indian Saint once said that you have to be at the most peaceful lake, when conflict happens, awake the Gandhi inside you to pacify your room mate and settle the conflict in the most lenient and peaceful manner. Here we present you few handy tips for dealing with the conflicts with your roommates, so that your stay is as calm as an ocean.
The roommate agreement
The roommate agreement, is not like any other 50 pager agreement, but a small piece of paper, highlighting some ground rules. Highlighting key principles Guests, Cleaning, Social, Music, Noise,Late night are some of the key areas concluded in the handshaking. Basically, you won’t have the trouble of your roommate playing loud music or your roommate coming late nights, or your roommates have frequent guests, because you both agreed in principle over it.
if you don’t know where to start, Think of the first meeting. Whenever you have a disagreement, bring the agreement on. You can also have it pasted on the wall of the room, where it goes prominence to both the room mates. When you sign the agreement, have a consensus, you should both hold up your end. Make explicit and clear expectations, highlighted key points and conclusions.
Still when the disagreement happens, you should…….
Talk Peacefully, Diplomatically Correct but Not Political
A peaceful and straight communication is the ice breaker. Don’t blow the matter, In India we say, “Mudda nahin banao….”. Try to create an environment of relief by simplifying the things. Be polite!!, not stubborn. The way you have feelings, your roommate also possess feelings which can get hurt with your behaviour.
If you have seen India Reality Shows, you would have known that arguements heat up when not taken and considered calmly. Often, people share their disagreements with friends and others, instead of speaking to the other party involved directly. Before taking any such step, speak to your roommate first. Avoid going to lobbys, or socializing the matter. And off-course, do the straight, peaceful face to face talk, instead of relying on Chatting, because your eyes speaks the truth, but your chat will not hightlight or pass your emotions to the audience.
And then, …….
None of us are perfect individuals, we all have our short comings. Therefore, Unless it hits your self respect, you should always be ready to compromise to a solution to the problems. Be open to thoughts, ideas and ways to resolve. You will probably have to give a little to get a bit and in the long run, it’s worth it.
Believe me, it won’t stop if both the parties want to go on each other…. lean to compromise some time, and be on the top the other when it makes more sense not to compromise
We talked about “Compromise”, There will be times when you will have opportunities to Negotiate on some terms. we ourself are the best judge of the situation. Compromise is the easiest way to settle a dispute, however, Negotiation is an art, which we learn from various situations in the life. When we get into a conflict, assess, judge the scope of negotiation. Negotiate, pen down the terms, and cross map with the rules of the agreement. Take a pause, and give yourself time to understand your next steps, and ways to accommodate the other person may need to change.
One thing I must say that on the journey at co-living spaces, one definitely learns the art of Negotiations, Judgement, Being Flexible and Adaptive.
Getting mutual friend to help out
At times things goes complicated, and nothing works out. In such a situation, its always worthy and helpful to get a mutual friend to help out resolving the situation. Believe me, at times it makes a lot of impact when we mention to the other party that Mr X also agrees to my point. People at times gets moved when you bring some close to them in the discussions.
On a closing note….
Hope these pointers are going to help you in understanding your room mate and the difficult situation of disagreement when it arises during your stay at the co-living.